The 'destination addiction' trap...free yourself.

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Blue sky, no one... (insert laughing to tears emoji) and I'm working. Along with this photo, I flicked this message off to a friend.

'Consider yourself lucky, its always greener out the window.' Was his response with a photo of a construction work site and this quote...

"Beware of destination addiction, a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are."

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"Life is about the journey, not the destination." Some words I know have echoed in your mind time after time. Yeah yeah, I know you have heard it before, I'm sure. So I wanted to break it down and really dive into this topic because its something I became aware of at a very young age.

I was 13 years old and had just returned home after competing in the national competition for Surf Life Saving. The entire year I had trained on weekends, mornings and through the summer. I'd been selected to represent my state and this competition was the 'end goal'. The event I'd most been 'looking forward to' and building up to. Now it was over and I remember vividly sitting in my bedroom feeling sad. 'What was I going to do now?', I racked my brain trying to think of what was coming up next 'I have nothing to look forward to.' To put it simply, I felt empty.

This cycle when on and on throughout my teenage years. As I was fully immersed in sports, this was normally the Australian Championships with a goal around my beach sprinting pursuit. Highlighting this major event on my calendar, I'd set a goal and start working towards accomplishing it.

It didn't take too long to become familiar with the idea of 'destination addiction.' At that time in my life it was a wave I choose to ride. A roller coaster I always described it as in my mind. Having something in the future to aim for, building excitement and momentum into that, living and experiencing that, then coming down the other side into a state of mild depression. I'd then go soul searching about what was next thing that I could put into my future that was going to make me feel alive.

This cycle went on and on in my life and I started to manage it better as I got older, well I thought I did at the time. In my early twenties there just became more exciting things to look forward too. Social events, holidays and more sporting competitions. This turned into travel and later in my twenties I realized what I was doing was not a fix. Adding more exciting events into my future timeline was just a band aid covering up the idea that my happiness was just around the corner, in the next....whatever?

Are you PURSUING happiness or are you actually LIVING it?

Somehow we have lead ourselves to believe that the happiness (success, joy, love) is in the future and we are addicted to chasing that feeling. What can I do next that will fill me up? What events in my future can I look forward to...(like I did!) Take a look at these ideas to see if you're pursing happiness instead of living it.

  • There is always a 'pinnacle event' on your calendar that you are looking forward too more so than anything else.
  • You're always thinking about whats coming up next for you.
  • You always feel busy.
  • You don't like your job but you think if you just stick at it it will get better.
  • You hate being 'single' and long to find a soul mate.
  • After a big exciting event in your life, you fall into mild sense of depression that you can't shake.
  • You have so many plans, forecasts, projections about what you want for your future, but your not enjoying the process of bringing them to life.

Falling into these ways of thinking and living can be so easy if we are not aware that we are doing so. Stop placing everything that makes you happy in your future and outside of your control.

How to cure destination addiction and the PURSUIT of happiness?

I'll be the first person to tell you that I still fall into the destination addiction trap from time to time. As with any addiction, I beleive it all begins with regaining control of your mindset. Here are some actions that I have applied to my life to help me feel happy NOW!

  • Apply person daily practices to help get present. E.g. Active stretching routine, meditation, exercise, get into nature.
  • Think and FEEL about what in your life excites you right NOW?
  • Tune in to what is actually going on for you in your life.
  • Create awareness around your thoughts and actively choose a positive mindset for yourself. Choose to feel happy for no reason.
  • Stop placing your happiness in things external to yourself...your relationship, your job or your next exciting holiday.
  • Consciously set your day up for happiness and success.

Remember you always have a choice on how you show up. Your situation in life may not be picture perfect or your ideal. Let go of that mindset and start focusing in on your life and how you can be and feel happy now. Drop the idea that happiness and success is something that will come to you at the end of the road, the top of the mountain, when the championship roles around, when you reach that goal, that next holiday or you finally nail that job you wanted.

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Adventures, Wanderlusters, Travellers.....You've had the most amazing adventure, travelling, working and living across this beautiful planet. Now your back to where you left off, the 'real world.' You have grown, you've seen, you've experienced. But back home, nothing has changed. You just cant relate to those around you. Ive created the WILD TRIBE for you and all of us. A place to come together to exchange experiences, share stories and create the next chapter of your life...just sign up below. Cant wait to see you there.

Lets share the adventure...