I'd arrived home to a heavy parcel in the mail. I was fairly certain it was the workbook and materials for the life-coaching course I was starting next month. Not having time to open it, I jumped in the car and whizzed off to my next appointment. Upon arriving, I had time to spare and tore the parcel open to reveal my books, a welcoming letter and small gift wrapped in pink tissue paper. My heart raced with excitement, I couldn’t wait to get started with this course. I'd never felt this way about any of my studies in the past, I felt so passionate about this and knew I was going to love every bit of it.
Time ticked down and anticipation built as the starting date neared. There was so much to take in, including a realisation that life coaching was something I really wanted to do and do well.
As you start to learn more about any topic, you also learn more about how it’s received and perceived in the wider community. Id always been a fan of coaching, it had helped me move out of a funk and start creating an inspiring life for myself. But not everyone sees things the same way you do. Maybe people thought it was a bit 'woo woo', or it conjured images of speakers taking the stage bellowing out motivational clichés to an audience who seemed brainwashed or in some type of cult. Or maybe it was just something that sounded a bit weird – someone to coach you on your life? Why would you need that? Perhaps people just didn’t know what they were for or what it all meant.
Regardless, I was entering into this world, it was something I wanted to do and I was going to embrace it. In all honesty, I felt pretty nervous about making this step. I was going to have to face those people, the world around me, to share my message and connect with like-minded humans. Eventually I would find a tribe of people who would relate. People I could serve and help shift something in their life. Or break down a wall or roadblock or simply hold them accountable to their actions so they could move closer to their goals. Fully knowing that what I had to offer was something others would find valuable.
When stepping into something new, stories can creep up on us and make us fearful. The story started to play in my head and fearful thoughts were born.
I started to question. ‘What if it doesn’t work out Abby?’, ‘What if there is no one out there that wants what you have to offer?’ ‘What if you fail?’ or you can’t handle it, maybe I wont be good at it or people wont like what I’m doing, or they won't like me. Sound familiar?
This is our ego talking; it’s designed to keep us safe and confined to what we know. You can't blame it, it's just doing its job. But it can create a story that is just that, a story, not reality. For a moment we need to step out of the story and recognise they are just thoughts you are creating. They are not true. If we can't step out of this place, the story will continue to play out in our minds. We will believe it more and more to be true and soon enough it will become ingrained into our subconscious mind. From there it turns into a belief, something that we know, and have made to be true. Where is the evidence or facts to support our belief that we have just made up? n this case, there is none.
So face it, recognise this is your thought system unconsciously taking control of your mind. The sooner we face our fears and stories, the sooner we can start to transform them. In the beginning it takes courage. We have to be vulnerable to the world around us. We have to remove expectations of others and how they might react. Take small steps into your fears and you will realise that you can begin to cure your doubts and recognise you have made up the stories and thoughts. You have made up perceptions and projected them out into your reality.
Thankfully I recognised what was happening and embraced my vulnerability. I started telling people what I was doing. Some people had no idea what a life coach was, so I could start to educate them. The more I told people, the more this fear became normal for me. I could see how others reacted and knew that I could also react in a way that was suitable for each person or situation. Trial and error, some people were curious, others were not. I could guide the conversation in the best way to suit both of us, or simply let it go altogether.
Now life coaching is something I can talk about with ease. We all have a life and most of us have found ourselves in a time and place where we would rather not be. Some people have found it hard to move forward, so there is usually a way I can relate to anyone. But only by starting the conversation, would I get to practice. Practice understanding people, and how to converse with them in a way that makes sense for them. Facing the fear that I had created myself by boldly stepping into it, in every way I could.
I'm not sure about 'being fear-less.' Fears are always going to be there, they are never going away. We must turn towards them, walk towards them, run towards them! So we can understand how to overcome them. Facing our fears only lasts an instant, its that moment you decide to start a conversation with a stranger, to click 'publish' on the article you have been writing or voice your opinion that may not be the same as everyone else's. What I do know is that we learn so much from not shying away from our fears. We grow, learn and become better people. Sometimes all it takes is 10 seconds of insane courage.
I'm now a qualified life coach I help wanderlusters and adventures to find their purpose and harmony and lean into life back home. I show them they can apply the same principles of exploring the world to their every day life. The biggest reward is seeing my clients living joyful, inspired and incredible lives. If this is you, or know someone in this boat. Id love to connect.