How to re-ignite old friendships after a long time abroad.

One of the hardest things, I found when returning home from long term travel was re-establishing my friendship circles. There was a mixture of old friends, plus new ones and other friends I was meeting along the way.

There were often times when I so desperately wanted to meet with an old friend and it just take off from where we left off, but instead I found that I was the one, pushing and driving and hoping the friendship would be the same, when it was never going to be that way, it had taken a new path.

To add to this there have been friends which were not the closest before I set out travelling, yet now I relate to them much more. Perhaps because we had more in common now, we were now at the same stages of life, or even just the fact that I had changed and was more open to exploring the friendships further.

What I can’t neglect, is that re-building this area of my life has been one of the hardest, if not the hardest. To a point nearly three and a half years since I set foot back in the country where Im still actually having to really work on it.

This is what I have learned when reconnecting with old friends.

Approach each friend with enthusiasm and a ‘pick up where you left off’ mentality.

Be the one to actively approach and reach out to old friends to arrange to catch up.

  • You are the one wanting to reconnect so don’t expect that people will come to you.
  • Be respectful that changes in your old friends life may make it difficult to reconnect.
  • Be open to all old friends, not just the ones you thought were ‘special.’

Be interested in what they have been doing with their life as well as sharing your story.

  • Friendship is a two way street, learn about what they have been up to since you've been gone.
  • Recognise differences and similarities in your lives right now.
  • Be aware of how you feel when reconnecting with them

Trust your intuitive feelings and messages about reconnection. If for some reason it happens easily or may not happen at all. 

  • May not feel right to connect with some people more than once.
  • Tune into messages how you feel around those people.
  • Don’t be afraid to let go if the relationship does not serve you anymore.

Release expectations about how your relationships ‘should’ be.

Relationships may now be different closer or more distance depending on what has changed.

  • Be open to feeling connections with people you were not that close to previously.
  • Know that some relationships won’t feel as connected, that’s ok.

The friendship doesn't have to be the same as it was.

  • It’s a new time so it’s likely won’t be the same. If you now only catch up once a year, let it be that.
  • Don’t let the changes of your relationship or friendships bring you down.
  • Embrace it for what it is and be grateful that they are in your life, in whatever form that is.

Acknowledge you have changed.  

  • You may have different beliefs that don’t align with old friendships.
  • It’s ok that you have grown, step into your power and embrace your values rather than feeling like you have to please others.
  • Share these with your friends if you feel called.

Your friends may have changed or they may not have, both is ok.

  • Regardless accept where they are at in their life.
  • Speak openly about the changes with your friends.

Continue to seek new friends in your old home.

Like on your your travels don’t let go of this skill just because you are now at home.

  • There are always amazing people in the world and your new best friend might be just around the corner.
  • It can be easy just to go back to old patterns and old ways when returning home, but be true to the growth and change you have experienced.

Seek like minded people though community and events.

  • This is a great place to find the people who ‘get you.’
  • Find those people who you want to be around. Remember you are the sum of the five people that you surround yourself with.

Be the one to go first even if it feels out of your comfort zone

  • What I mean by this is reach out to old friends (and when making new ones.) This is what you want so it will require energy.

On a final note.

If you can get yourself onto the wavelength, the energy frequency or simply in that good mood...alignment you will attract the right friends (old and new) into your life. Go with the flow, don’t try to push and effort your way back to a relationship if it doesn't feel like it will happen with ease.

People come into our life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you will know exactly what to do.
 
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