Is ignoring the new normal?

Do you think its true that ignoring is becoming a little more common? How sad that ignoring someone in our presence and being on our phone is becoming more and more accepted. Apparently this has been termed 'phubbing' phone snubbing. According to a study more and more people are phubbing due to internet addiction, smartphone addiction, self-control, and FOMO fear of missing out.

Often when in a group we see this phenomenon occur, it's also been called 'alone together.' Were all here together but alone engrossed on what's going on someplace else. Often, people assume that others share their opinions and beliefs so doing this in front of others is considered ok when in fact the other may think it's rude.

As one person takes out there phone, is this giving permission for the next person to do the same thing. If someone doesn't feel this way they may appear in a group of people not actually there!

This ignoring doesn't just happen in this way, it seems with all these different ways of communication is so common for people simply to ignore you. There is nothing worse than sending a caring text message or asking a question via fb messenger to a friend and not getting a response. We're all guilty of this.

But lets just take a step back for a minute as technology speeds up there are so many different forms of communication so people work differently on different communications. Some look at emails instantly, respond to text as they come in and answer their phone if it rings. Others rarely check email, have their phones on silent and never go on social media.

I found this interesting, yet very true list of why people dont respond to your text messages...


  1. The person really doesn’t like you.
  2. They are getting back at you for ignoring one of their text messages.
  3. They find your text message dialogue really boring and are on social media looking for something better to distract themselves with.
  4. They are playing mind games with you, full well knowing that by keeping you waiting for a response will cause you bitter frustration and they get a kick out of it.
  5. They are lazy and don’t respect you enough to respond to you.
  6. Very rarely, but some times, their battery dies. This is usually an excuse……go back to reason number 5.
  7. Some people work for a living, get off their back! They are WORKING… smarten up, the world doesn’t revolve around you.
  8. They just installed the new iOS and lost all their contacts (yes, even your precious contact info). They don’t recognize your number and are worried that your text might be from that person they gave their number to the night before.
  9. They are upset with you and decide to be passive aggressive with you instead of facing the problem head on up in a mature forward thinking fashion.
  10. … and finally… did you actually check to see if you pressed send after you finished writing your emotionally charged message? This is the worst feeling ever and really makes you look at yourself as a super self-centered individual, realizing that you are the only one to blame for getting all upset over nothing.

(ref: The growth guide)

If we don't make a real effort to look at our social behaviours, there will be more and more times where communication simply breaks down and gets lost in translation. Emojis, bitmojis and exclamation marks are great but they will never replace body language, tone and a real face to face conversation.

I'm also not suggesting we need to be at the beck and call of others. Ignoring communications because you are working, socialising, travelling or simply being present, I don't think can be frowned upon. As long a response is given in reasonable time, now whatever reasonable time is to you is another story.

So how is this affecting us all?

Dr. Masaru Emoto, the Japanese scientist has conducted many experiments analysing water crystals. The famous rice experiment shows that the rice in a jar of water with the label 'love and gratitude' remains fairly standard, the jar of rice labeled 'you fool' starts to turn mouldy very quickly. Most fascinating of all (or perhaps not), the jar labeled 'ignore' is the fastest to grow mould and turn putrid. If this is what energy is doing to rice in a jar of water, it's having an impact on humans too. After all, we're made up of 75-80% water!

On a final note...

At the end of the day we can find strength in knowing that the reason why someone has ignored us has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them. This doesn't mean it's right (it doesn't mean its wrong either), it's just that you can drop your concerns and focus on how you want to behave. Just because someone does this to you - don't buy into their ways, do what you would do!


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Abby Lewtas

Hi I'm Abby, Adventurer, Life coach, Speaker and Blogger.

After a successful sporting career I now love sharing what I have learned from my adventures and traveling the world.

I believe in turning into your adventurous life through your intuition and the little nudges from the universe.

Lets share the adventure. xo